Sage Northcutt is a UFC star because he is far and away the prettiest male athlete they have under contract. Mickey Gall is in the UFC because the UFC needed someone with very little MMA experience to take on CM Punk, and after Gall embarrassed Punk, he had the presence of mind to call out Northcutt. So, hey, whatever. Now they’re fighting.

As we all know, Northcutt’s bread and butter is karate, so of course Gall comes out hunting for takedowns, and when he gets one early in the first, much of the round is spent with Northcutt trying to not to make a mistake with Gall on top of him. He does this expertly, and when he scrambles up he sneaks in a hammerfist that lets Gall know this fight isn’t going to be easy. They spend the rest of the round standing, and – wait, do my eyes deceive me? Northcutt is talking trash.

Round 2 opens and Northcutt is talking more trash, goading Gall into a standup battle. It seems to be working, as Gall answers back with unkind words and strikes, his standup much more rudimentary than Northcutt and thereby giving the pretty boy the opportunity to make his face a bit bloody. But in one of the exchanges Northcutt gets clipped and goes down, and Gall pounces, taking his back and instantly slipping on the choke. And Northcutt taps.


Results: Mickey Gall def. Sage Northcutt via Submission (Rear Naked Choke) at 1:40, R2