Welcome to CagedInsider’s UFC Fight Night 82 results and play-by-play. We have a big night ahead of us, with a main event pitting former champ Johny Hendricks against karate man Stephen Thompson, and a Fight Pass “superfight” featuring two unknowns vying for the right to fight CM Punk.

First up, a Fight Pass prelim between TUF runner-up Alex Lobov against some dude named Alex White.

As we know from watching Lobov, he’s best buds with Conor McGregor, he’s Russian, and he likes to get into gunfights with his hands at his sides (fights he strangely wins despite that bad habit).

Round 1 sees Lobov immediately start to work his game, winging counterpunches as White comes in, and dinging the American up enough to establish himself as a threat. But somewhere along the way White figures out his foes rhythm, and nails him a couple times with crosses. Lobov slows, and to put an exclamation point on the round, White succeeds with a takedown.

White keeps up the punishment in the second round, bloodying Lobov’s eye and forcing the Russian to ponder his choices in life. Another successful takedown likely gives White the round, and at this point it’s clear Lobov has no idea what to do when his gunfighting skills can’t win the day.

More punches to the face and another takedown and Lobov has got absolutely nothing to offer White – so much so that the last few minutes of Round 3 have the Russian lumbering after his opponent like a zombie, occasionally throwing bolos that hit nothing, until White mercifully takes him down and the clock runs out.

Result: Alex White def. Artem Lobov via Unanimous Decision