Retired MMA legend BJ Penn issued a challenge last week in an appearance on UFC Tonight — calling out both nutritionist Mike Dolce and current UFC featherweight Nik Lentz.

“You know what, I’m sick and tired of hearing about Mike Dolce,” Penn said, as we reported here at Caged Insider. “You know what Mike Dolce, I’ll put a challenge out right now. You go grab Nik Lentz, that’s your boy, bring him down to 145, I’ll run through him in one round, then I’ll find you in the back and I’ll smash you! Okay, let’s do that, let’s do that right now, I’m ready.”

It brought about a variety of responses. Some asked, should Penn really come back? Others asked, does nutritionist Dolce really deserve Penn’s scorn?

But one thing no one expected was Lentz, who has won nine bouts in the UFC during a six year stint in the promotion, responding by penning a poem… badly.

Really, really, badly.

Here’s an excerpt of “A little poem for a little man” by Nik Lentz:

“Hey Beej,

It seems you’re mouthing off,
and making some cracks,
about my boy Mike Dolce,
because he can’t get back.

As you distort all the facts,
and reinterpret the past,
when he worked so hard to save you
from your own fat a–.

Then after you took your beating
instead of being a man
you pointed at him
and said it was his plan.

As you flailed around,
eating jabs and hooks
you didn’t blame yourself
you blamed your cook.

Which is really kind of like
the bully you are
You hog glory when you win
but from blame you stay far.

When a better fighter beats you,
not once, not twice,
but the same amount of times
as those little blind mice.

You got three chances to beat Frankie E
and he mopped the cage
with your legend
for all to see.

Now you sit in Hawaii
contemplating your doom
or beating up your friends
in hotel rooms

But nothing keeps you happy
so you persist
in seeking out glory
you’re a narcissist

All you are is an image
so now you must try
to reacquire the spotlight
narcissistics apply.”

If you’re enough of a ‘narcissistics’ (which, incidentally, isn’t a word in any language) to want to read more, the entire magnum opus has been transcribed by our friends at MMA Junkie. Enjoy.