Last night’s UFC Fight Night 137 card saw most of the Brazilians rack up wins because, well, the card took place in Brazil, so why not? Thiago Santos and Eryk Anders duked it out in the main event, Alex “Cowboy” Oliveira destroyed his tomato can opponent in the co-main, blah, blah, blah. The big takeaway of the event wasn’t really about the wins and losses… it was about watching some dudes retire, and watching Antonio Rogerio Nogueira and Renan Barao and hoping they would soon retire.
Because dear lord, do those two guys need to retire as soon as possible.
Sure, “Lil’ Nog” came away with the win, stopping Sam Alvey in the second round with his boxing. But Alvey is no world-beater, and the smaller Nogueira brother was getting marked up a bit prior to him clipping the American with a fist to the dome. Personally, I have a lot of good memories attached to Lil’ Nog – he was a hero back in the day – and I’m sure I’m not alone. So why must we watch a fighter long past his prime risk more brain damage than necessary?
LITTLE NOG DOES IT!!@MinotouroMMA still got it at 42!! #UFCSP pic.twitter.com/jZqsTSc6DP
— UFC (@ufc) September 23, 2018

Barao, meanwhile, has already sustained that career-changing, life-altering damage. He was a super-dominant champ for so long, and then TJ Dillashaw just broke him. Broke his body, broke his mind, broke his spirit. And now, when Barao fights on these Fight Night events, he misses weight like a chump, and turns into a human punching bag in the later rounds. Seriously, a few years ago, UFC Fight Night 137 opponent Andre Ewell wouldn’t have made it out of the opening seconds of a fight with prime Barao; now, it’s just pure ugliness.
Ewell drops Barao in round 1! #UFCSP pic.twitter.com/LWiZvqc0hV
— UFC (@ufc) September 23, 2018
Left hand after left hand for @Daii24_Dre stuns Barao! #UFCSP pic.twitter.com/e66JhDRUQS
— UFC (@ufc) September 23, 2018
Someone please make Lil’ Nog and Barao retire. Please.
Two other fighters on the card had the right idea. Even though he ended up beating Hector Lombard on the Fight Pass prelims, Thales Leites announced he was hanging up the gloves. Evan Dunham stepped into the cage against Francisco Trinaldo knowing he was going to retire no matter what (Trinaldo murdered him with a knee to the body).
Left hand after left hand for @Daii24_Dre stuns Barao! #UFCSP pic.twitter.com/e66JhDRUQS
— UFC (@ufc) September 23, 2018
So yeah. These Brazilian Fight Nights. They’re perfect for illustrating who needs to call it quits and transition to the next phase of their life.
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NO THANKS, I'M NOT INTERESTED.