MMA legend and multi-time UFC champ Randy Couture retired from competition years ago after getting his tooth kicked out by Lyoto Machida. But he’s been keeping busy, with a retirement plan that includes “acting” in about 50 installments of “The Expendables” and whatever else his agent can get him.

Oh, and then there’s this… a stint on “Dancing with the Stars”, which, well, yeesh.

Look, I won’t begrudge a man for trying new things, especially after he’s made such an indelible mark on a sport we all love. Plus, it seems as if the dancing partners these guys get are pretty easy on the eyes and would be fun to twirl around. But climbing into a funky costume and boogy-ing to music is something you do in the privacy of your own home around these parts, and I like to remember Randy as the dude who fought his heart out in the cage, not danced his ass off while wearing a white vest and burgundy sash.