VICE just did a piece on a fight club that mixes marijuana with capoeira – because of course they did, they’re VICE – and it’s everything you’d imagine of a bunch of damn hippies thinking they’re cool doing a martial art that’s never won a UFC fight.

The events in the story take place in New York City’s Washington Square Park, which, in case you’re not a New Yorker, is where NYU students go to chill, beat on bongos and buy oregano from sketchy dudes from Washington Heights who promise that it’s grade-A herb. It is also where stoned dorks think they’re so awesome for practicing martial arts while high.

Here’s one gem from the author:

Whatever marginal skills at Capoeira I’d gained from Harrison earlier in the evening were long gone. I was also way too high to really commit to kicking this total stranger. If I’d been sparring with Harrison again, self-consciousness and embarrassment likely would have inspired some real effort. As it stood, I was far more concerned with avoiding the swinging legs of the stoned participants energetically kicking all around me. Maybe this is why there aren’t more 420 Fight Clubs, I mused. After I’d done my kicks, I made some lame excuse and faked taking blurry pictures of the group to escape the trajectory of his shoe. Call me a coward, if you must.

No, dude, I’m going to call you an idiot.

Look, it’s no secret that Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu has a substantial subculture of weed smokers within it, with Eddie Bravo and Joe Rogan being the top proponents of rolling high. But at the end of the day, jiu-jitsu wins fights. Capoeira… not so much.