You can always tell when Conor McGregor is fighting on an upcoming UFC card, because all the UFC events just before and after it suck. Such is the case with tonight’s UFC Fight Night 137, which will take place in Sao Paolo, Brazil, and has as its main event… Thiago Santos versus Eryk Anders?

Usually, I try to hype these Fight Nights because they have a few compelling names and storylines going into them. But this one had me struggling. I mean, I get it. The UFC has only a certain amount of money to spend on fighter payroll, and with everyone’s favorite Irishman stepping into the cage against Khabib Nurmagomedov in a couple weeks, ain’t nothin’ left in those coffers but chump change. Still, Santos vs. Anders?

Don’t get me wrong, both men can bang. And they have in the Octagon, scoring decent, highlight reel finishes. But Anders lost to old man Lyoto Machida, and Santos got smoked by Dave Branch. That sort of takes away some of their luster.

But whatever. There are at least four solid reasons to watch the UFC tonight. That is, if you DVRer it, then watch it on fast-forward… while doing other things like knitting a sweater or teaching your kid self-defense.

Yeah, so those four reasons to tune in include:

  • Former dominant bantamweight champ Renan Barao is on the card. He totally fell off the face of the Earth after TJ Dillashaw broke his soul, and the Brazilian missed weight by five pounds for his fight against Andre Ewell, who is a total nobody. But it’s Barao, people!
  • Hector Lombard is on the Fight Pass prelims. He’s taking on Thales Leites. If you’ll recall, Lombard was once a Bellator champ and hot prospect, but he’s lost his last five fights, with his most recent “L” coming via disqualification for hitting CB Dollaway after the bell. What a douche.
  • Rando Markos, because she fights hard and has interesting hair.
  • Lil’ Nog! Yes, the lesser of the two Nogueira brothers – Antonio Rogerio – is dusting off the gloves and ambling into the cage. This dude is old as hell and ready to start collecting Social Security checks, but he’s Brazilian and they don’t have those so here we are.

There you have it. Record this event, fast-forward it, do something else while it’s playing in the background.